My, voluntary, Central Region challenge this month is to share how, in my opinion only, spirituality and money can mix in the ‘passing of the hat’ relating to self-supporting and Nar-anon’s 7th Tradition. It feels so good inside when I sacrifice what I can in financial support at, not only, my ‘home’ group meetings, but also at other group meetings I attend as well as to the Region or/and World Service.

How much is my serenity worth to me? Great question! I ask myself that and instantly and somewhat painfully, I remember how much my ‘control’ to fix or get the addict out of a jam has cost me. Wow, a lot! Not only did I pay with my wallet, but with my emotions, mentally and physically, in ‘helping’ them.

When I put money in the hat, I’m repaying for that ‘life saving’ help I received. The groups need money to pay expenses, buy Nar-anon literature, and obtain the critical information for the beginning, bewildered, future member, newcomer (me, lest I forget) just arriving, as Nar-anon refuses any outside contributions. It must in order to be totally independent from any actual or implied restrictions.

I ask, with your consent please, to share an excerpt from Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, because I feel that same compassion for my fellowship, Nar-anon Family Groups, Inc. I hope you can agree?

Until, I was reminded, I had skimped. Also, I became aware that all groups listed with the Central Region, and World Service is treated alike. Groups that can contribute nothing for services rendered, receive the same attention as groups that contribute a great deal. Wow, what a wonderful concept that is!

Some ideas to keep ourselves refreshed about this ‘way of living’ is maybe, to personally help support Nar- anon services worldwide, we can personally contribute (tax exempt) to Region or WSO on our Nar-anon birthday / anniversary, two dollars or more for each year of serenity. The group, if we wish, could be credited for our donation! Fund raisers are a great source of income to compile funds together! An extra ‘hat or can’ marked ‘Literature Fund’ is helpful. Hey, how about making February “Self-Support Month” with all donations be sent ‘outside the group’ to the Nar-anon entities? — Pick a particular date during the year and have a drive for each group member to donate $4.00. You might call it “Fellowship Day.”

Yet, another very vital means of self-support doesn’t involve money. It involves a personal sacrifice of time and energy invested at the group level, 12th Step level, and/or a Regional servant on one of the many committees including the web-site conveniently from a central (home/office) location. I feel so much gratitude inside when I’m being of service. It affects so many others positively along as with myself in strengthening my growth in recovery. I must give it away to keep it! What? Sounds kind of goofy, but after seeing it in action, along with experiencing it, I now know that it’s a ‘nugget’!

Now, I not only have encouraged myself, I hope I have challenged you to say, “YES, I can make a difference”!         Thank you for your ‘self’ support of me, the Central Region, as well as WSO!

Humbly, Rick…………Central Region Treasurer and Wapakoneta, H.O.P.E. Group self-supporting member

From Sidney Daily News

SIDNEY — Family members, friends and employers of drug addicts now have a new source of help here.

Lynda Smith (not her real name), of Sidney, has started a local chapter of the support group, Nar-Anon, for people who face the daily horror of their loved ones’ addictions. Smith is one of them. A close family member is a recovering heroin addict.

The Sidney Nar-Anon meets weekly, at 7 p.m., Thursdays, in the basement of St. John’s Lutheran Church, 120 W. Water St. Until Smith established the group here last month, the closest regular meeting was in Wapakoneta.

That’s where Smith met Chrissy Jones (not her real name), of St. Marys. Jones’s husband is a drug addict. Jones, like Smith, used to attend Al-Anon meetings, where family members of alcoholics support one another. But each of them recognized that drug addiction is not the same thing as alcohol addiction. Friends and loved ones who have to watch people close to them ruin their own lives and the lives of those around them by using drugs need a different kind of help.

So 20 months ago, Jones and a friend started the Wapakoneta group, which meets on Fridays.

“It has literally saved my life,” Jones said. “It has helped me take the emphasis off of (my husband) and his addiction and put it on me and my sanity and serenity. When you’re dealing with an addict, their addiction becomes your obsession. You worry about why, about what they’re doing, about how you can stop it. When you come to Nar-Anon, you learn how to put that focus on you. You learn to react differently.”

Smith is aware of the mushrooming heroin problem in Shelby County. She participates in the Drug Coalition and has talked with police officers about the families they’ve seen who have been affected by court cases and overdoses. That’s another reason why Smith opened the local support group.

“Heroin is so deadly compared to some other drugs. This one is killing people,” she said. Although many area residents are having to come to terms with heroin addiction, Nar-Anon is open to all folks who must deal with someone addicted to any drug, from street drugs to prescription medicines.

“It’s a 12-step program based on spiritual, but not religious, principles, like respect, kindness, courtesy,” she said. “(At a meeting), you’re going to be working on yourself.”

Jones noted that it’s very scary for some people to walk into their first meeting.

“We hear all the time that ‘I was here last week’ or ‘the last two weeks and I never got out of the car.’ But they can expect to be accepted completely. You instantly feel like you’re at home. You no longer have to hide,” Jones said.

The Nar-Anon website, www.nar-anon.org, offers the same encouragement: “When you come into the family group, you are no longer alone, but among true friends who understand your problem as few others could. We respect your confidence and anonymity as we know you will respect ours. We hope to give you the assurance that no situation is too difficult and no unhappiness is too great to be overcome.”

Meetings last for one hour and each opens the same way: with a description of what Nar-Anon is and what addiction is. There are readings from a book, “Sharing Experience, Strength and Hope,” commonly known as “SESH,” which is a compilation of members’ stories, and then the meeting is open to participants for discussion. Jones said that no one is required to speak, but members help each other with the problems they face.

“What do we do with this? How did you handle that?” Smith said, quoting some of the questions attendees ask. “Once you find out that people are experiencing the same kind of problems, you don’t feel so alone.”

Both women stressed that the emphasis in Nar-Anon is on the non-addict who must deal with an addict.

“Sometimes people come to meetings thinking they’re going to learn how to get their addict to not be an addict,” Smith said. What they’ll learn instead is how to stop enabling behaviors in themselves.

“They’re so focused on getting the addict fixed they don’t realize they need help, too,” Jones said. Listening to attendees has taught Smith that “when it’s your child, it’s harder than when it’s your spouse.”

The meetings are places where people can practice what to say when situations come up with their addicts. The 12-step process allows participants to work through issues that may be hindering their growth and the addicts’ growth.

“If a wife calls (an addict’s) employer and says he’s sick, he’s off the hook,” she added. “He has to start to take responsibility.” The 12-step process leads people into thinking through the consequences of taking that responsibility and planning to handle them.

Changing behavior is a lifetime process, so people shouldn’t think that they’ll learn everything they need to know in one or two meetings, Smith said.

There is no charge to participate; however, because local groups are self-sustaining and cannot receive outside donations, a basket is passed each week. The average voluntary donation is $1. The SESH book costs $15. Purchasing it is also voluntary.

For information, call 622-5488.

By Patricia Ann Speelman
[email protected]
Reach the writer at 937-538-4824. 
Follow her on Twitter @PASpeelmanSDN.